


per tempus; amare

by ethereal_flower



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Bittersweet Ending, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:22:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29342022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethereal_flower/pseuds/ethereal_flower
Summary: Nothing ever felt fair anymore. You looked into his eyes, and yet his eyes laid to someone else. But when you had him, life becomes some tragic comedy that takes him away.
Relationships: Bertolt Hoover/Annie Leonhart, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	per tempus; amare

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry guys, I wasn't able to update letters in a long time, I had a lot to do in life and wanted to publish this AU in my head. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Cold hands stroked your cheeks, your eyes half lidded as you slowly saw the life around you beginning to dim. You managed to convince your cousin to not take your power, and to live until you have reached your limit. 

Around you were once the people you saw as comrades, friends, and enemies. Jean stayed silent, but you knew that he was shattering to pieces. You remembered him telling you that he wasn't going to forgive you, and you, Reiner Braun, accepted that. 

But here you are all now, they surround your deathbed as your last hours come close. Gabi can't stop crying over you, her small hands taking hold of your large yet cold ones. "Please don't go..." You could her broken whispers, but instead you smiled in return. 

As much as you still had a lot to say, your life betrayed you, and you closed your eyes shut, never to see the light of life again.  
.  
.  
.  
Or so you thought. 

The year is now 1870, you were born from a middle class woman and a noble father. You were again shunned by him, just like in your previous life in Marley. The only difference is that you never forced yourself to do anything for your mother and risk your life in the process, that you didn't suffer much in this life. 'A pretty good life.' You thought. 

As you grew up, almost everyone you saw in your previous life were there, but they didn't remember anything from it. Ironically, you saved Marco from getting killed, a sole difference from what you, Bertholdt and Annie had done in your previous lives. 

Bertholdt. Bertholdt.  
The name comes out from your lips sweet like cherries in the summer, but it began to taste more sour as you realized the truth. You haven't seen him. Not now. Not yet. 

You had began to wonder. Will he recognize me? Will he remember? Would he finally see you the way you do? 

The last thought made you want to laugh. There was absolutely no way he would like you. Just no, it's impossible. 

Just your luck however, a stranger tapped your shoulder slightly. "Excuse me sir?" You knew that voice. You recognized that voice. Turning around, once more: you saw him. 

His hair was still the same, his sun kissed skin glowed along with the rays, lips pink and soft which you always longed to press against yours. It was Bertholdt. Your Bertholdt. 

Out of nowhere, you immediately started crying, into which Bertholdt frowned upon seeing. "Are you alright sir?" He asked. Before you could answer though, you saw a young lady, blonde, walking her way through the crowded street. No doubt, it was Annie, looking more refined and elegant while retaining the same look on her face she had in her previous life.

Upon seeing her arm snake upon Bertholdt's, you felt sorrow clench into your heart. "Who is this, my dear?" She asked, rather albeit sweetly towards him. Bertholdt smiled softly at her, his hand around the arm that held him. "He saved Marco from bandits. At the very least I could do is thank him." 

Your eyes travelled towards both of their hands, getting a glimpse of matching golden rings around their ring fingers. "Are you two married?" Your very own lips betrayed you, as your heart was now betraying your own mind. 

Expecting a no, instead you gained yes. "Yes, we've been married for 3 years now, and we also have two beautiful children." Annie answered, as Bertholdt gave her a smile- a sweet, sickening smile that you wished was turned to you instead. 

Having enough, you finally excused yourself, leaving the couple confused. But you knew that they wouldn't care anyways. They have a life of their own, and you have yours. 

You continued living this life, filled with nothing but unrequited love and regret. And just like in your previous life, you died young, thanks to a plague. 

The last thing you ever thought was that if Bertholdt and Annie were able to survive.  
.  
.  
.  
You didn't like this life. It reminded you of your life in Marley. Once again, you're being forced to do things you didn't want to. Again, this was war. 

At the year of 1941, who thought a world war would break out once again? And you, who was once a mass murderer with an immense power, would be born as a mere German soldier, having no choice but to finish off thousands of innocent lives under the orders of a ruthless dictator.

This time, things had truly gotten worse for you. Bertholdt was here and he wasn't married to Annie. However, you didn't think he would be born as a Jew. And the thought of it broke you. You couldn't bear to think that you would be taking his life away. 

So you tried. As the German cities were in peril out of capturing a lot of Jews, you managed to escape with Bertholdt and his family, not caring that what you did was an act of treason. 

Months went by, and as you two stayed hidden from the troops, there were just some nights that made you two live as if there was no war at all. Slow, tender kisses always covered both of you, the unbuckling sound of belts falling, sweat trickling down your foreheads and body. 

"Hmm...we could stay like this forever..." You hummed on the crook of his neck as you thrusted in and out of him, breath hitching as the both of you came. "...I would really love that." Bertholdt answered, a content lazy smile on his face. You wrapped your arms around him, peacefully sleeping. 

But all good things must come to end. One day, your hiding spot was discovered, and Bertholdt being a Jew, had to be sent to a concentration camp. From there you knew, you would never see him again. 

The troops soon surrounded you, declaring you a traitor and demanded an arrest. It felt like that time on Wall Rose again- when you and Bertholdt were caught, stripped off from your disguised facades. 

Knowing he would die, you just decided to go first, blowing yourself off with your own pistol. 

And the last thing you thought was for fate to give you a normal life for your last.  
.  
.  
.  
You soon woke up with a groan, the sun temporarily blinding you. "It's that same dream again..." You mumbled under your breath. 

Yes, you dream about all your past lives. You remember every single detail about it. You knew that this life was your last, before you can finally stay in the afterlife. At the very least, you wanted to see Bertholdt in this lifetime for one final time. 

The year was now 2021, the present year with a pandemic ongoing. You were fortunately not infected, however with your job as a nurse, you know the risks of handling an infected patient. 

Heaving a sigh, you started your day with coffee and toast as you scrolled through your phone. The news was full of nothing but mortality rates and bullshit politics. It was tiring really. After having a fresh shower, you dressed with your working scrubs, put your facemask on, and soon left for work. 

You saw your co-workers Porco, his brother Marcel, Annie, Pieck and Zeke. This time, Annie never showed interest to anyone named Bertholdt, instead to a fellow named Armin, which isn't surprising to you at this point.

A surprise did come though, because there was a familiar man who was rushed towards the quarantine facility for those who are positive. Dread quickly filled your stomach, as you asked Pieck for the man's name. 

"Ah- his name is Bertholdt Hoover, age 25, blood type AB, and works as a librarian near the library from the hospital. He got tested and was revealed positive just now." Pieck explained as you sighed deeply. 

In your life as a Titan shifter, you never got to see him and only heard about his death. 

In your life as a son of a noble, he married the woman that you imagined himself to be with.

In your life as an enemy soldier, you were able to love him as you wanted but lost him again due to your differences.

And now in your last life, he's here, sick and on the verge of possible death. 

Nothing ever felt fair anymore. You looked into his eyes, and yet his eyes laid to someone else. But when you had him, life becomes some tragic comedy that takes him away. 

It's cruel isn't it? 

But you knew better. If he was to die in this life fast, at least you'd be here with him. 

You went to his room, all protected as you checked on Bertholdt's vital signs. And from where you stood, he gave you a soft smile, despite of looking tired and pale. You smiled back, soon sitting beside his bed. 

If you couldn't have him, at least you could be there for him.

And that would be enough for you.


End file.
